Rollercoaster

March 15, 2012

The next phone call that I get is a bad one. They had an MRI done this week. The MRI showed not just one tumor but four. The doctors are now worried that they are MET, or metastasized from somewhere else in her body. Flashbacks start flowing from not too far back. We had just lost Seth's mom the previous month, Monday, February 6th. The funeral was on February 11th, Seth's dad's birthday. It felt like we had just got home from the long three day drive. They had found cancer in her lungs on Christmas Eve and she passed just over a month later. This weekend was my mom's 51st birthday. I would make it there again if I had to drive all night. My brain comes back to my dad on the other end of the line. He says that they will do a PET scan of her body to find where the main source of cancer is located. I can only say good-bye knowing that I will have to find a flight there that night.

Seth is already on the computer looking. A miracle happens and he finds something for $440. Everything else is around $1,000. It was on Delta and I would be in Salt Lake City tomorrow around 2:30. Seth had just sold his tv and speakers for $400. We booked it. I call Cody to make sure he could pick me up. He generously says that he will get off early and we'll take off for Idaho then. I call Tyson to make sure that him, Cassi and Tayt will be there and we cry for a little while. Again I wouldn't have been able to get off the phone unless I knew that I would see him tomorrow.

Fortunately, the flight was non-stop so it went quickly. My eyes were puffy and swollen. I think the guy next to me notices because he is extra kind. We talk about our kids and trail races. I want to sleep but there is no where to put my head. Thank heavens Cody is always right on time. He had even text me, "Crownburger?" as we landed. It gave me something to look forward to. It was dark before we got to my parent's house in Idaho. From all the cars outside, we can tell that Curtis, Jackie, Cassi Jo, Jonathan and Gabby were there. Tyson, Cassi and Tayt were there also but I can't tell because of the new bug they are driving. Cody goes in thru the front and I go in thru the open garage. I here Cody go in and say hi to everyone, so I wander into the kitchen. My dad does a double take and Tyson and Jonathan just start laughing. I go into the living room and my mom and aunt Jackie loose it. I know they are happy but they are crying. My mom is in the chair. She looks perfectly normal except for the the purple cane Dannyel had loaned her. That makes me really happy. So I go give her a hug and she squeezes me so tight. My dad comes in and says, " I don't know if I should give you a hug or beat ya!"

Despite the incredibly depressing news, we have a fantastic weekend. My aunt Jackie (mom's sister) threw a great party on Saturday night out at her house in Blackfoot, Idaho. She cut up lots of yummy fruit, made rolls and some delicious soups. Dad taught me how to make jambalaya. We played 31, listened to my brothers and uncle Jeffery be swamp people, played games and laughed all night. It was so healing for all of us to be together and laugh until our stomachs hurt. The only problem we run into is that mom can't hold her bladder very well!

The following day was mom and Cassi's birthday. We work together to get mom's zoning room all finished and family pictures put up on the walls. On his Traeger, dad smokes some prime rib and chicken thighs. I make a hot fudge cake for the birthday girls. After dinner is cleaned up and the gifts have been opened Beth and Trev take off for Salt Lake and Tyson, Cassi and Tayters head home to Shoshone. Cody and I go get Crazy Stupid Love and even dad stays awake for most of it.

Mom puts me and Cody to work the following day. We wash sheets and rugs and steam mop the floors. Then we ran some quick errands while Barb (my mom's good friend) came to zone my mom. It took us half the time it would have taken mom. She made the comment, "I watch people get out of their cars and run into the store quick and I miss being able to do such simple things." We had decided that if there was cancer somewhere in my mom's body that we could help get rid of it by eencouraging her to eat a mostly fruit and veggie diet with little to no sugar. So we place an order with Bountiful Baskets for her and my dad to pick up on Saturday. Then Cody and I give her hugs and say good bye until the next time. It is really hard to leave.

Tuesday March 20, 2012

I fly home. Uncle Kennon takes mom to get her PET scan.

Wednesday March 21, 2012

Results say NO cancer anywhere in body. Doctors are confused and want to get another MRI to rule out MS.

Friday March 23, 2012

Results show it's not MS, however, whatever it is has grown 10 to 20% bigger since last MRI. Doctor will call on Sunday to refer us to Dr. Jensen at the Hunstman Cancer Center. Possibly need biopsy done. I can't think straight for two days. Matt and Julianna Crownover are helping me get the information I need to get mom down here to Dallas. Mom and dad don't want to leave if they don't have to.

Sunday March 25, 2012

Doctor calls and has made the referral, but needs to call tomorrow to set up an appointment. Hopes that we can get in this week. Me too!

Monday March 26, 2012

An appointment has been made for tomorrow afternoon at 3:45. Also, Matt has made great contact with doctors here in Dallas and has got her on the schedule to come down if needed.

Tuesday March 27, 2012

Doctor doesn't say much just schedules a brain surgery for 11:00 Thursday morning. Mom and Dad like Dr. Jensen. They decide to go with it. I wish that I could be there.

Wednesday March 28, 2012

I do the best I can to plan my weekend here with my family so that I don't think to much about not being there for my mom's brain surgery. Starting with Carter's first pine wood derby tonight. He made a tank with a turret made of legos.
Kwinnae calls and asks if I am planning to come to Utah for the surgery. I regretfully tell her that I can't and she says that I am coming and that Grandma Verdeen is buying my airplane ticket. They just wanted to make sure that Seth could take care of the kids.
The next few hours are a blur. Between the sobbing and thank you's I find a flight and quickly pack. Maren takes me and my kids to the airport. Drops me off and gets the kids to Seth just in time for them to get to the church for the derby, which De Hoyo's thankfully recorded for me. I am very nervous about getting on all my flights since it it so last minute. No problems getting on the first one to Tulsa, OK. I have an hour wait. I call Cody again to see if he can pick me up from the airport at midnight. He sweetly agrees. Seth texts me that Carter won his first two races. I call and get a full report. Then I call my mom to see how she is doing. She doesn't seem nervous at all. She is going in the morning to get her brain cut into and she is still calm, positive and laughing. She hears the girl next to me with a baby. I lie and tell her that I am at Carter's pine wood derby and can distract her by telling her all about it. I tell her good luck and again can only say good bye because I know that I will be able to hug her in the morning before she goes in Thanks to Grandma Verdeen!

I have one more stop in Denver, CO. Then arrive in Salt Lake City at 11:25 pm.